I'm drive I can fine osifer
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize