He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
