Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
