If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize