I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize