I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
