i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Panties = found
Randomize
