I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i dont even know how to be here
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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