I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
