is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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