Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
