There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
