Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
