I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
