Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
