She went from zero to smokin in five shots
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
