hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
