I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
