You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
