what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
