he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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