The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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