I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
