Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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