Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
