I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He better not be in your backpack
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
