Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
