I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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