I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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