Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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