left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
