really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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