Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
