my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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