You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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