Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
