i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
