he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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