I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
