I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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