The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
