You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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