just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
