Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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