haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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