Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
