I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
