We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
