Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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