Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Randomize
