Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
