Non-Jews are for practice
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Randomize
