just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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