What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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