Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
