Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
