now i know why i became what i already was.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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