Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
